Here’s the Rub

It’s weird that New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, a billionaire many times over, would patronize a massage parlor called ‘Orchids of Asia’ for a “rub and tug” on his way to the AFC championship game. Men with Kraft’s wealth usually have trophy wives, can easily hire high end escorts (who aren’t victims of human trafficking), and often have mistresses.

So why go to a cheap strip mall?

Kraft wasn’t the only wealthy john who got caught in the sting that has put him in the headlines. Private equity mogul John Childs and former Citigroup president John Havens were also arrested. There seems to be more to this story of Chinese sex trafficking to come in the near future. With the recent re-evaluation of the extremely disturbing Jeffrey Epstein case from the previous decade, it seems that an illegal sex trade has been thriving in the ultra-rich enclaves of South Florida.

So much for a pizza place in D.C. It seems that, once again, nearly everything that the right accuse Democrats of is projection of some kind.

A woman named Cindy Yang founded the “day spa” where all these wealthy powerful men went to relieve their “stress.” Although Yang no longer owns the specific business where Kraft was videotaped receiving oral sex, it was known for offering the same “services” in her time. Her family still operates several similar enterprises that are also under suspicion for sex trafficking and prostitution.

And wouldn’t you know it, Yang is a big-time Republican who now owns a company that sells access to another wealthy and powerful man with a big presence in South Florida: the president of the United States.

The Miami Herald reported that Yang had attended a Super Bowl gathering at Mar-a-Lago, and produced a selfie of Yang and Donald Trump posing together at the party. The Herald also published pictures of other events showing Yang and both Don Jr. and Eric Trump, along with a trio of prominent Florida Republicans: Former governor and current Senator Rick Scott, current governor Ron DeSantis and Representative Matt Gaetz. There are also pictures with onetime vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin and Republican National Committee chair Ronna McDaniel.

According to the Herald, Yang had shown no interest in politics prior to 2016 but “has now become a fixture at Republican political events up and down the East Coast.” These gatherings all charge big donations to attend, although much of the money collected at Mar-a-Lago goes straight into the Trump Crime Family coffers.

For obvious reasons, national security experts were alarmed by the report. This combination of sex trafficking, prostitution, and politicians presents a perfect opportunity for espionage and blackmail.

Presidents normally divest themselves of their businesses not just to avoid the “appearance” of conflict of interest, but to avoid the possibility of compromise. This president seems to have a peculiar fetish for putting himself in as many compromising positions as possible.

The Maroon 5 of Super Bowls

Demonstrating once again that we are indeed in the worst timeline, The New England Patriots defeated the Los Angeles Rams in a 13-3 snoozefest to win Super Bowl LIII. It was the lowest-scoring Super Bowl in history, the longest play was a punt, there just one red zone possession all game, and to add insult to injury, Maroon 5 played the halftime show.

Despite the low score, the game did look like it could have been a decent defensive struggle during the first two quarters. It seemed at first that each team’s defenses were being stout and making good stops, but as the first half started coming to a close, it was clear that both offenses were just very dull.

Then the halftime show happened…I think?

Marron 5, the perfect embodiment of what old corporate suits think “the kids” like, led a disjointed fiasco of a halftime show in which the only highlight was a tribute to Stephen Hillenburg, the creator of SpongeBob SquarePants who passed away in November.

After the halftime show came to a sudden end, the Patriots and the Rams decided they might as well finish the rest of the game. The score remained stuck at 3-3 until the Patriots managed to put a drive together long enough score the only touchdown of the game.

The Rams attempted to rally, threatening to put a drive of their own together until Jared Goff threw a dud of a pass that was intercepted at the Patriot’s 4-yard-line. Essentially sealing the deal.

The Patriots winning their 6th Super Bowl title, especially in this manner, was like seeing the spoiled rich kid get the girl at the end of a 90s teen movie. On the bright side; at least it was mercifully short.

NFL Picks: Divisional Playoff

Last Week: 4-0 (1.000)

Postseason Total: 4-0 (1.000)